Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you

Here are some Funny Facebook Status for the users. One can use the Funny Status on their Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter or any other social media sites as their status update:

• Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
• Love makes your heart race, but so does methamphetamine.. so it'll probably make you feel good for a little while and then you'll die.
• Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
• I did in bed... I did it on the couch... I did it in the car... Texting is such an obsession. :)
• "Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."
• "My memory is so bad." "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"
• People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
• "I didn`t do it..." "Then why are you laughing?" "Cause whoever did it, is a freaking genius!"
• on Facebook seaching up people with the last name hontas.I think it would be cool to poke a hontas :)
• Josh is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
• If you're out shopping today and you notice the floor feels weird it's because you're standing on someone's aunt.
• Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out "the rapist" Sincerely, not lying down.
• Officer to drunk boy : "How high are you?" Drunk Boy: No officer, its "Hi! How are you?"
• Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.
• That awkward moment when you`re talking to someone with an accent & you accidentally reply with their accent.
• Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?
• Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
• Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.
• X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.