Open fridge, nothing. Open Freezer, nothing. Story of my life

Here are some Funny Facebook Status for the users. One can use the Funny Status on their Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter or any other social media sites as their status update:

• You’ve got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
• Bought a protractor today; it's like a regular tractor, just more qualified.
• Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says “Look, a dead bird.” Blonde looks up in the sky, “WHERE, WHERE?”
• is coming to the realization that it takes a lot of balls to learn how to play golf
• " I like your hair." "thanks, I grew it myself."
• That awkward moment when you don`t understand a joke but laugh anyway, and then someone asks you to explain the joke.
• "I wasnt that Drunk". Dude, you were walking around naked trying to put your phone in your pocket.
• Yes. Yes. I know. Yupp. I will. Okay. Yes. Alright. Okay. Bye Mom.
• "Dude, she just called you deaf..." "...........WHAT?"
• Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
• is wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
• "I wasnt that Drunk". Dude, you told me to give you a ride home... the party was at your house.
• Dear mom, just because you and your friend are best friends, doesn`t mean me and their kid will be best friends as well.
• That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong even autocorrect can`t figure out what you meant.
• That moment of shame when you toss a paper ball into the trash, and you miss, then you have to get up and go get it.
• Our phones fall, we panic, but when our friends fall, we laugh! :D
• isn't one to brag about my Press exposure but yes, it's true what they're saying in my local paper.
• Scratch here - ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?
• Forget girl band, that fatty in Little Mix needs a gastric band.
• Open fridge, nothing. Open Freezer, nothing. Story of my life.