My Nan Always used to say stop biting your nails so i bite my sisters instead

Here are some Funny Facebook Status for the users. One can use the Funny Status on their Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter or any other social media sites as their status update:

• I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
• That awkward moment when you get home from school and look at yourself in the mirror thinking `did I really look like this all day?`
• Person dies in movie; "Eh. They probably desevered it." Puppy dies in movie: "WHAT THE HECK! WHAT DID THE PUPPY DO?!"
• "You ask." "No, you ask!" "Will you please ask?" "Why can`t you ask?" "Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"
• There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
• True love is being able to hate the same things together.
• Dear iTunes, please realize that when I put you on "shuffle" I mean "play all of my favorite songs". Sincerely, skip... skip... skip...
• _____________/\__________\o/__________ swim little man, swim faster.
• Student: "Can I go to the bathroom?" Teacher: "No!" Student: "I`M ON MY PERIOD!!!!!!" Teacher: "...but your a boy..."
• Everyone has that “make the other person sound incredibly stupid” voice when describing an argument.
• By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
• A dog thinks: These people feed me, pet me, love me, they must be God. A cat thinks: These people feed me, pet me, love me, I must be a God.
• *FIRE ALARM* Teacher: "Okay children, stay in your seats just for a minute." Student: "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.."
• My Nan Always used to say stop biting your nails so i bite my sisters instead
• That awkward moment when you`re with someone you JUST met. "So..you like..uh, stuff?"
• Ambulances and women have a lot in common… they both make a ton of noise to let you know they are coming!