Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police

Here are some Funny Facebook Status for the users. One can use the Funny Status on their Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter or any other social media sites as their status update:

• Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
• I'm already done with my Christmas Shopping! Yeah, I'm easy to buy for.
• Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
• That awkward moment when someone is watching you take a picture of yourself...
• Steps To Survive A Horror Movie: Never say ” I`ll be back,” because odds are, you ass aint coming back...
• That Awkward Moment when you still don`t understand someone after saying "what?" multiple times...
• "Will be ready in 5 minutes" of A Woman & "Will call you back in 5 minutes" of A Man Are Essentially The Same Thing!!!
• The difference between this company and a cactus plant is that the plant has pricks on the OUTSIDE.
• That Awkward Moment when you change your Facebook status to “single” and your ex `Likes` it.
• There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
• Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
• That Awkward Moment When you KNOW you look better than EVERYONE in your family. ( ¬ .¬ )┌∩┐
• he awkward moment when someone`s zipper is down & you don`t know whether to tell, because you can`t explain why you were looking that low
• that sexy face before you sneeze. ;)
• When I Die, Someone Should Keep Updating My Status To Freak Out People..
• You are Loading ████████████ 99%
• You could probably bounce a coin off my abs if you have low expectations of bouncing and are a money-throwing weirdo.
• Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.