I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime

Here are some Funny Facebook Status for the users. One can use the Funny Status on their Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter or any other social media sites as their status update:

• Katrina thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
• English language FAIL: Monosyllabic. Think about it.
• What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
• All dressed in my jammies and ready for bed, gonna give my sheets some ass and my pillows some head!! nighty night!!
• I remember when my bestfriend was shy and quiet, I created a monster. :D
• "You ask." "No, you ask!" "Will you please ask?" "Why can`t you ask?" "Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"
• Kids are so ungrateful! My generation's zombies didn't run. They walked...Uphill...In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they liked it.
• That Awkward moment when you look and your best friend is bent down and her granny panties are showing.
• "Textaphrenia - thinking you`ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message." I have this.
• I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
• Shahrukh Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
• That moment when You give someone the the silent treatment because you are mad at them & they don`t even notice.
• This year for Christmas, I'm writing statuses for all my Facebook friends. It's cheap and they'll be funnier... Win, Win.
• "Hey, can I borrow a pen?" *Hmmm, which pen do I not need back?*
• `Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia` is the fear of long words.
• Dear boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I`d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, Girlfriend.
• Someone follows you on Twitter* YAY, a new follower! , *Someone follows you in real life* HOLY SH*T A STALKER
• slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
• No one ever compliments my armpits, wtf?
• Abhishek before you use the bathroom in someones house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!