If only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP

Here are some Funny Facebook Status for the users. One can use the Funny Status on their Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter or any other social media sites as their status update:

• if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• I'd bite my nails less if there wasn't always chocolate frosting under them.
• People reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).
• dear icebergs, sorry about global warming. karma`s a bitch. sincerely, the titanic.
• "Sexy and I know it..." more like Ugly and you show it!
• That awkward moment when you go to grab somebody sexy and tell them ‘hey’, but your hand hits the mirror.
• That awkward moment when you are in the store and you see your teacher....
• Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
• Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
• That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
• I hate it when someone apologizes for talking to much. They`re just talking even more.
• This “random acts of kindness” thing is hard. I’m going back to violence.
• Why do we use our blankets as shields at night? Like is the monster gonna be like ” oh shit…..they have a blanket..RRRUUUUNNN!!!!”
• That awkward moment when you keep talking & you don`t realize your friend walked away.
• I`m not flirting. I`m just being extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive.
• anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. :)
• I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
• I hate when the definition of a word has other words in it that I have to look up also.
• scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.